As I See It- Heidi May

 Gurnee’s Heidi May

Odie Pahl

You have heard the saying, if you are given lemons, make lemonade. Well, Heidi May, Gurnee’s Own, did just that in some very important ways. Diagnosed with breast cancer, not once but twice, she found those experiences to be a call for action that continues 14 years later. On July 13^th, the Relay for Life Gurnee/Wadsworth will once again honor the survivors and caretakers of this equal opportunity disease and remember the ones who fought hard, but lost their lives. Heidi is responsible for bringing the 12 hour event to Gurnee and will be walking laps just like she has every year since its inception. However, her community involvement does not stop there and this is why.

Heidi May grew up in the area, attended Warren Township High School, married a local guy, and raised her son and daughter in Gurnee. In 1999, just a couple of days after her 35^th birthday she discovered a lump in her breast. Her doctor wanted to watch it since it was very small to see if it got larger or it was really something serious. Heidi wanted a referral to a specialist for a biopsy. Thank goodness, her determination prevailed; they found she had Stage Three Breast Cancer and recommended a mastectomy and chemo therapy. Her need for a quick response probably saved her life and certainly became the impetus for her healthy recovery.

There was a clinical trial for a new drug and she was accepted. Although she had a severe reaction to the chemo and was almost pulled out of the study, she told the doctor, “to figure out how to get them in me” believing it was her best option. “All I could think about was my second grader and kindergartener and that I needed to watch them grow up”. Losing her hair, she felt like a cancer patient for the first time. Before then, “I was just me”, but after hearing her son reprimand someone, “it is not nice to stare at my mom”, reality set in.

Her last treatment was in June, 2000 and she was invited to participate in the Relay for Life in Libertyville. Sitting at one of the sites, with her bandana covering her still bald head, someone came over to her and asked if she wanted to join in the survivor activities? “I am not sure I am a survivor yet”, replied an ever-practical Heidi and she was reassured she was indeed. Still weak, she did not make it through the night, but the next year with family, friends, and a group of staff members from Spaulding School in Gurnee in tow, she finished the night triumphantly.

Her group of supporters was convinced that a relay was needed in Gurnee and Heidi was the one to make it happen. Once again rising to the occasion, she made it a reality. “All I wanted to do was what that one person did for me at my first Relay…tell them they are most definitely a survivor and let’s celebrate your life”. Besides, all the work it took to bring the Relay to Gurnee and make it successful, Heidi ran for President of the D56 PTO and won. “I was given this second chance and I better make the most of it”.

In 2004, just a couple days before the Relay, biopsy results indicated she had breast cancer for the second time. During the same period, Heidi turned 40 and was almost at her all-important five year anniversary being cancer free. Instead she had a second mastectomy and reconstructive surgery on both breasts. She confided in her husband, Curt, who is her “rock” that she was so disappointed in her body and not making her important milestone. With the help of her loved ones, she made it through Relay and even a surprise celebration. She was back on track.

Heidi May chaired five or six Relays, co-chaired or was on a committee for the rest. She was honored three years ago at Relay for her good works and in 2010 was given the Distinguished Leadership Award by the American Cancer Society. Her daughter is active in her college’s Relay for Life and will be a co-chair next year making this a family legacy. Unbelievably, Gurnee’s Relay has raised over a million dollars, which was possible because of Heidi, family and friends. Yet, she wasn’t done there.

When Gurnee School District 56 needed help passing a referendum for a much needed school building, Heidi again stepped up. She worked tirelessly on committees, strategic planning groups, and eventually ran for the school board. She was the president for the last five years until she retired in May, 2013. Giving her time to community organizations, successfully sending her children off to college, and sharing time with family and a large network of friends, she also remains a sounding board for others going through a diagnosis of cancer. “I always try to help ease fears or answer questions as much as possible”.

When it was suggested that an article should be done about her, Heidi hesitated talking about herself or her volunteer efforts. However, rethinking her stance, she realized that her message was an important one to get out there. She said, “I am one of the lucky ones, my treatments worked and I was given another chance. I am not fond of attention on me, but I want cancer survivors and caregivers to remember they are not alone. I have gotten more involved in the community, because I feel like I was given a second chance, another opportunity to make a difference.”

Lemons, make them lemonade. Words to live by…

There is something wrong here...

I have had a wonderful life full of many experiences. Some unbelievable and some not so good, but each one has made the person I am today. Some were lessons learned and actions not to be repeated,yet they are what they are and I am richer for it. I have worked hard my whole life, not because I had to struggle- it was my choice. I worked at jobs I hated, loved, and just did for a paycheck when I wanted to raise my children in a comfortable life. The one thing I always believed was that you got what you put into the job. Whether it was just the check to pay the bills or the promotion or new job offered instead. I did my 100+%, because that is who I am. I practiced what I preached and went back to school for a degree, and took every chance to become better then I was yesterday. Unfortunately, I see more and more as I get older there are other agendas at stake. Whether it is companies bringing in new blood, cutting costs and benefits by farming out long-timers, or just people who believe younger is better and move over, Grandpa! There is something wrong here when a person's self-worth is jeopardized by the next new thing or employee. Suddenly, regardless of past performance (or even a current position) and employer is not willing to invest in supporting or training and worst case scenario demote or eliminate the job from under them. I always hesitated telling people my age. Not because I am ashamed of it- it was more what people did with that knowledge. We all do it, assume we know who other people are. Too young, they are inexperienced or immature. Too old, they are set in their ways and not willing to do new things. The same thing happens when someone is stricken with a disease. Any problem blame it on being too fragile, incompetent, or infirmed. The trouble is that not one person in this world will escape without getting old unless they prematurely die. Each one who is employed will reach a point where they have run the gamut in their profession. In today's society, if you are lucky to have a job, you are most likely going to have to work longer than your employer or you really want to. This does not mean you are done being a contributor in the workforce or not willing to take on more charitable pursuits as a volunteer. The breakdown arises when financially the company sees you as cumbersome and you still need a livelihood. Nothing personal (just personnel, right?). Personally, I have some great dreams for the future, but that future does not start until my mortgage is paid off and school loans are retired. So, for the young whipper-snappers who think things will be different when 20 years down the line you are in the same boat- think again! They won't be. Be kind to us old folks and recognize who we are. We still are smart, creative, hard-working and effectively contributing to whatever organization we work for, just like you. In an instant, you can be replaced, edged out, or humiliated by a new kid on the block, whether it be your rival or supervisor, who cannot see that younger is not always better. Until next time...

I'm Just Saying...

If you really know me, you know I have an opinion on just about everything. I do really try to see both sides of the story even when I do not agree with you. However, on the first morning of my summer vacation while watching Good Morning America I saw an interview excerpt for a 20/20 spot on Rielle Hunter by Chris Cuomo. I really, really like Chris Cuomo, but I had to walk away from it and here's why. For anyone who has not listened to the news for the last six years, Rielle Hunter is the mistress of former presidential candidate John Edwards (I admit I use to like him,politically-speaking). She is also the mother of their four year old daughter. She is now promoting her book, which tells the story of their affair and her relationship with him in the past and now as parents of an innocent little girl. Having an innocent daughter does by no means make them innocent. Both of them are guilty of a number of very immoral acts that unfortunately are not punishable by law. At least according to the trial that just ended. I guess they will have to suffer with their decisions for the rest of their lives, but we do not have to waste our time or money to subsidize the sorry excuses they are trying to hand us. Both of them have irrevocably changed the lives of all the people around them and for what? Some simple sex, ego gratification, and their more than 15 minutes of notoriety? Who do you ask have been hurt? Besides the taxpayers who had to foot another bill for a corrupt politician's day in court, the loyal political followers who donated time and money to support a candidate on a power trip, the staff members who tried his dirty laundry from the nation and his family, all his children who had the burden of loving a father who thought more about himself than them, and his late wife who was humiliated in public while suffering from another bout with cancer. Rielle Hunter said in the interview, "I am not a homewrecker" and she may be right. She is so much more...both John Edwards and Rielle Hunter are selfish and immoral. Sure marriages fail all the time and we deserve to be happy. Yet, when you know the marriage is not working for you- do the right thing and get out. You are then to find your new perfect mate. If you fall in love or lust, do not act on it until you make it right. Most importantly, do not try to fool the American public and then continue to benefit through the need by some to be voyeurs. Let's get smart people...and we can start here. Do not watch 20/20 tonight and definitely let her book tank at the bookstands. I am just saying...

I'm Counting My Blessings...

Every day I say a mantra, prayer, affirmation or whatever you want to call it. I take a minute and look to the east and take a few deep breaths. I ask for strength to be a better person than I was yesterday, for guidance and protection for me and mine, I state I am in good health, at peace, and grateful for the blessings I receive (present not past) and the lessons I continue to learn from, I ask for forgiveness for my weaknesses as I forgive others theirs, I ask that the abundance of the universe flow easily and effortlessly into my life,I promise to use that abundance to help others- all for the common good, and I finish with, I believe my prayers will be answered. After I am done, I do not worry, obsess, or doubt that I am alright. I do not try to manipulate or control what happens to me during the day. I just trust in a higher power that dwells in me. Regardless of your religion or core beliefs, these simple words can change your life. Faith is believing in something or someone when no evidence is available. A knowing that if you live in a conscious way that you will live an authentic life. This does not mean that I expect there to be no glitches or bumps in the road. However, I hope or really believe that I will have the tools and the support to deal with what comes my way and I am forever grateful for the good things in my life. I always thought I would win the lottery some day or come into a lot of money. Do not get me wrong- I still would like that to happen. I could think of many, many ways to spend it, share it, and donate it to make life even better, but the difference from my wanting or wishing as I did before is that now I do not have to have it to be happy. It is not a magic fix or answer to getting out of debt or paying for a new driveway we desperately need. Money will not cure all my ills or make me content, but it could pay off some student loans. Maybe, I will win, but true happiness is not based on it anymore. Have I matured or as I have learned in my psychology classes, become self-actualized? Well, I hope so! Instead of feeling lucky that I have not had more bad than good, I am thankful. Even more so, I look to see how I can help others to weather their storms, as well. Anyone who knows me is aware that I am no angel, but I figure we need to acknowledge what we have, share our blessings, protect our resources, and learn live authentically. That is the real answer. Until next time...

Gurnee Grade School Validated for Students Hard Work

Over ten years ago, Gurnee School District 56 was feeling the pinch of a growing school population and planned to re-open the oldest building in the district, Gurnee Grade School.
Since its closure in June 1998, the building was being rented out to the Gurnee Park District and a local Christian School. However, the district was looking for an economical way to create more space for incoming students and reclaiming the school was the first step.
The obvious solution was to use real estate that was already available and configured for educational pursuits. Unfortunately, with its long history in the village, also came some long-standing issues and problems.
Being the only school in the village until Viking School opened in 1971 and its foundation just east of the DesPlaines River, meant the school was old and flood-prone. No nice modern classrooms, no climate-controlled hallways, and the yearly threat of the river flowing through the building, were only a few reasons that parents were not likely to move their children to Gurnee Grade.
To entice families back into the building, the district decided to make the school an option school. What it could not offer in amenities, it could give in choice. All-day kindergarten was initiated, smaller class-size, multi-age classrooms, and eventually housing kindergarten through eighth grade in the same building. Accommodating all siblings in one school was a boon to most families trying to work out the logistics of a typical school day.
No one was moved to Gurnee Grade against their will and they actually had to request in writing to be put on a waiting list. Parents who sent their children to GGS became great supporters and volunteers in a strong family of staff and educators that bonded over the years over sandbags, steamy classrooms, and crowded conditions.
This alternative program has payed-off big time for the village, district, school, and the students in it. Principal Jen Glickley was notified in late January that Gurnee Grade School earned an award from the Illinois State Board of Education. In her email to her staff, Mrs. Glickley said, “This is a HUGE testament to all the hard work each of you does everyday. It's more proof that EVERY CHILD can learn! Thank you!”
The 2011 Excellence Award for Exemplary Academic Performance on the Illinois Learning Standards was earned by GGS by meeting the following criteria:
* Must have made Adequate Yearly Progress in 2010 and 2011 as required by "No Child Left Behind".
*In schools serving eighth grade and below, 90% of the students must have met or exceeded state standards in reading and math for the three most recent years.
Throughout the state, 438 schools earned this award, but this is the first award in Gurnee School District 56. Gurnee Grade School is not a pretty school, it is not spacious, and it is definitely not new, but the family that has formed since the re-opening in 2003 has made a difference that really counts.
The Illinois State Board of Education recognized Gurnee Grade School with a certificate commemorating the inclusion on the 2011 Illinois Honor Roll stating, "...you and your faculty on all the good work required to sustain academic excellence in your school".
Next year the students will be moved to another building and Gurnee Grade will be no more, but the heart of the school will remain. Having a safe and dry environment in a comfortable setting is only the icing on the cake for the teachers, staff, and families who took a chance by being part of this worthy experiment.
The statement on the certificate further reads: "Demonstrating long-term commitment to the highest quality of education, students, educators, and families at Gurnee Grade School have earned a 2011 Excellence Award".
A strong validation for the decision the district made for practical reasons, yet garnered so much more for the district. Superintendent John Hutton added his congratulations to all the staff at Gurnee Grade School through a letter last week.

Remembering 9/11/01

Of course with any major event that is experienced in our lives, we look back and think about what we were doing when it took place. With Sunday’s remembrances for 9/11, I looked at what I was doing and where my life was when I heard for the first time of the plane crashing into Tower One of the World Trade Center. The names read, the six moments of silence, touching music, and the eloquent words spoken by leaders both present and past touched my heart deeply.
Just ten years ago, I watched with others to see our lives changing irrevocably and forever. Our contentment and nonchalance that violence was not going to touch America and the fear of terrorism, war, or that the threat of fanatics taking away our security on home turf was no longer a distant thought. The Towers being attacked, the Pentagon in flames, the heroes going down in Pennsylvania, the last Tower falling, and the death toll climbing brought us together in solidarity, pain, and patriotism.
We have learned a lot in the last ten years. The tributes both nationally and locally on Sunday have once again allowed me to remember what has been lost, endured, and treasured in my life. Listening to how survivors or the loved ones of the almost 3000 people, who perished that day, have coped and subsequently moved on in their lives was so moving. The children and grandchildren born after the tragedy give me hope for a better future for all of us. Those victims are in our memories with each smile or mannerism repeated through the generations to come.
The realization of unbearable loss of those people who died are multiplied by the first responders who gave their all, and the ones lost in the subsequent war on terrorism ripple in our public consciousness like the memorial pool at Ground Zero
Seeing our nation, mourning their deaths, yet celebrating their lives and heroics- humbles me. We truly will not forget that Tuesday, ten years ago and hopefully the recollections from that awful day will keep us strong, focused, and dedicated to the freedom we all deserve.

New Year, New Me???

Okay, this year I did not even think about New Year Resolutions. Yeah, I did run through the "getting in shape", "learning not to procrastinate", and my all-time favorite, "spending within my means" scenarios, but the truth is that I am older and wiser. I know that making a list with all my potential improvements will remain a list for the next year with only a hint of guilt for not following-through.

I have gone with a new approach. I am trying to be better in some way everyday. Maybe it will be eating right, or doing a project early, or maybe just not buying that book or gadget that I was dying for in the first place. Or maybe it will be thinking about the act and deciding that I really do want it and will make it work accordingly.

Like me, I am sure you know what I am talking about as January 1st comes around each year and a new plan is needed to make a fresh start. However, I have a feeling that it is not necessary to restart or begin over again, but maybe like tortoise and "keep a-goin".

The point being that I am going to live in the present in a meaningful way- each and every day. No matter worrying or planning out what will never be accomplished from a insignificant man-made list. I do have to do all those things I mentioned, but for me and not because I am suppose to do it. Quality, not quantity is my new philosophy.

I will work on my weight and exercising to be healthier and live longer. I will whittle away at my "to do" list a little at a time, and I will use my money to make my life better and the people around me. Making time to enjoy my pursuits as well as handle my responsibilities. So, I will pursue my classes, finish paying my credit card debt, work and volunteer on a regular basis while allowing myself some all important "me" time for writing, creating, and actually relaxing on occasion.

With a new granddaughter, two wonderful grown daughters with their own lives, and a husband of a gazillion years, I have learned that they are what makes my life whole. Having that in mind, I know that they are my priority this year and every year. If I miss with them, I miss completely. So, I believe that this year there will be a new me. It will one day at a time even if it takes all year. Persistence is the key...