As I See It- Holiday Traditions 2015

Most people who know me have known me for a long, long time. My relationships are strong and deep regardless of the circumstances. I hold on to them long after I have moved, changed jobs, or lost the daily contact that forged those connections in the first place. I love unconditionally, am loyal forever, and cherish meaningful tradition like the lifeline it truly is in today’s fast-paced culture.

Coming from a broken home at a time when more than 90% of families were intact, wasn’t easy. My mother struggled in an unforgiving community-base that did not accept people who did not fit into the norm. My younger sister and I found ourselves scrutinized, pitied for our circumstances, and longing for a past life torn away from us. When you’re a kid family traditions are formed quickly.  They do not have the perspective of decades to rely on. I see that every day with my grandchildren. Change a routine as simple as the route you take to the movies and they wonder what is up. As adults, we, too count on what we know and find comfort in those things, especially during the holidays.

So, when life throws you a sucker punch and takes away the routine or messes with our traditions, we get scared. At least I do. I don’t like change for the sake of change. I cling to meaningful and mindless exercises alike. My journey has been to discern the difference and embrace only the meaningful while casting away superfluous fluff. Getting older, I have found the loss of older family members, physical limitations changing what I can accomplish, and dealing with a younger generation of family who look to me to continue some traditions, but expect me to encompass their burgeoning outlook colored by their history and new adult reality.

Thanksgiving this year was at my older daughter’s new home and extended family she has carved for herself. Instead of hosting for 18, I was a guest at the table. Weirdly liberating, I must admit. However, the lack of control was off-putting for this traditional girl. My younger daughter and her partner had dinner at her family’s table for a change. The rest of the family and dear friends gave the new hostess some space this year. It’s On, for 2016 though.

Fortunately, we started a new tradition on Black Friday. Instead of shopping like maniacs, my immediate family came together for brunch at my house. Cooked expertly by my youngest, served with mimosas, Bloody Mary’s, eggs, bacon (despite vegetarian philosophy), and rainbow pancakes for my granddaughters. We watched the movie, Elf (a great new addition to my holiday collection), and decorated the tree. The tree decorating was a hard one to let go. I had to accept the early tree-trimming when I still had Thanksgiving decorations up, ornaments on top of each other on the lower third of the tree by eager little hands, and enjoying the new normal without comment. Not easy for me.

This year take time to readjust. Hold onto the meaningful traditions that feed your soul. Don’t do anything by rote, only by design. If it makes you anxious, forget about it. Doesn’t fit into our busy schedules, drop it. Cost too much- make it, bake it, or trade it in for something that brings greater joy in the giving. Most importantly, embrace this holiday for what it really is. A shining moment built on faith for a better world fueled by the best of our intentions. Peace and Love to All.

Saying Good-bye to a Good Guy

In Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Mark Antony speaks at Caesar’s funeral using this famous quote, “…The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.” It may have been true in Shakespeare’s day, but I am thrilled to report not in Gurnee, IL. If you not one of the multitude who shared the loss of Richard Welton, I want you to know he left us with a resounding tribute ringing in his ears.

Mayor Welton (the only way I addressed him) was one of the Good Guys. Not a perfect man, but who is, really? Yet, the people who knew him and I am lucky to be counted in that large group of people, thought he was the best. The word that comes closest is a visionary and it has been used a lot since his death on July 31^st. I left his funeral just an hour ago and there was not a dry eye in Gurnee Community Church. Yes, this was a completely bias, standing room only crowd of mourners. These were his people. Friends he grew-up with, family members, community leaders, Village employees, intergovernmental agencies, church congregation, and of course, residents who knew him well.

You see everyone he met, he treated as a friend. He had a kind word for everybody, Except for, maybe the naysayers who did not love Gurnee like he did. Welton never hesitated to speak his mind or convince you to see it his way. No one loved Gurnee more than he did during his life. He became the Mayor in 1973 at just 30 years old. He held the job for 28 years. His vision allowed for Great America, Gurnee Mills, residential expansion, the retail corridor of Grand Avenue, and the extension of the Village to Route 45, to name a number of his accomplishments. The most important thing is he did it without abandoning the true essence of his home town.

As he was laid to rest, he was honored by his community in the most meaningful way possible. Memories were shared publicly and privately, tears were shared with family and friends, and everyone came together in droves to show their respect and love. I did say, love. To know him was to love him. He had a heart of gold, loved his family without reason, served his community with distinction, and was a kind and caring man, always.

So, some people may have to leave this Earth without anyone remembering what good works they accomplished in their life. However, that is not the case for Dick Welton. His death at 72 years of age almost seems premature. We will miss you greatly, Mayor.

A Doula may be the ticket...

Are you thinking, who or what is a doula? I have to admit that I was not familiar with the term when I first heard it. More than a midwife, who assists a woman in childbirth a doula, is the whole package. Both are trained and can be certified, but the doula is the support for the mother before the birth, through the birth, and after the birth for the whole family. While a midwife or doctor is primarily focused on the physical procedure, the doula is part of the entire process.

 Having a doula on board is an amazing thing. When the gynecologist/obstetrician monitors, tests, and supervises a woman’s pregnancy, they are seeing their patient only once a month until the last month when visits are weekly. Measuring the fetus, checking the weight gain (babies and mother), and performing a couple of ultrasounds, the doctors must attend to a multitude of patients. The doula is actively involved through every step of the pregnancy. This is especially helpful when it’s your first child. How many of you remember having “no clue” during those nine months? Where was Google when I was having kids?

So, when a friend announced the birth of her son with the help of a doula, I had to investigate. Lauren Sczygielski-Anders and I worked as ushers at the Genesee Theatre when it first opened. Always being on-top of all that she does, I was not surprised that she had engaged a doula for her first-ever birthing experience. Her choice was Martha Sheahan CD (DONA International), who trained and became certified as a doula in 2009. Her business is named, Becoming a Mother Birthing Service (www.becomingmothers.org). She developed an interest in natural childbirth after her first two children were born premature and wanted a better experience with her third and fourth.

Formerly, Doulas of North America, DONA International is the largest doula association in the world. There are more than 7000 certified doulas and the numbers continue to increase. Once certified, Martha was able to use her skills to provide holistic, non-medical birth support for people like Lauren, which is really the significant difference between a doula and a midwife. Midwives like an obstetrician are considered clinical care providers. Although essential to the success of the birthing experience, they are focused on the physical act of giving birth. A doula works alongside of the medical team, possibly a midwife, and mother before, during, and after the delivery.

Martha explained, “As a doula I’ve worked in homes, hospitals, and birthing centers. I provide care to all women, regardless of the route they choose, while in labor. Natural, medical, or C-section the benefits of a doula remain the same. The excitement of supporting a family through birth never grows old. Each experience is unique and each birth writes its own story. I believe a 100% in the empowerment this sacred experience brings to a woman. I am honored to be part of the journey.”

In Lauren’s case, her baby, Tom, was delivered by caesarean section at 39 weeks. He was a double footling breech. Yep, both feet were coming out first. Not a good scenario for mother or child. Despite, a major change in plans, she still felt her birth experience was almost perfect with some valuable assistance from her doula. Lauren faced surgery with a calm, relaxed confidence instead of fear and helplessness. She shared with me, “Having Martha with us gave Dan (her husband) and me a peace and calm you wouldn’t believe. Dan, who was a skeptic at first, loved having her there as she was informative, professional, calm, and funny (most important). I am the first woman in our family to have a doula and hope I won’t be the last…they’re great!”

After my research, hearing Lauren’s story, and learning about Martha’s passion for her profession I am convinced this is an amazing practice and more meaningful than a traditional birth. Raising four children with her firefighter husband, Matt, she is a blocker for the Root River Rollers (a women’s roller derby team out of Racine, WI), and dabbles in photography and gardening.  Nonetheless, she use her innate skills, (honed through hours of training) supports new parents, and continues to bring new life into the world on a regular basis. Sounds like a dream job to me, right?  Until next time…

We're All Bozos on this Bus

Being from a certain generation, I remember an irreverent comedy troupe,  Firesign Theatre, which was popular when I voted for the first time. Their comedy  actually was very clever, with some out-there satire, back in the 70s. The fourth album (remember those?) was named, “I Think We’re All Bozos on this Bus”. The phrase stuck with me and I have used it many times over the years.

You may wonder why I am writing about them at this particular time, and referencing ridiculous people (Bozos) near an election day in Lake County. Well, maybe one Bozo in Gurnee on that bus was dropped off at the Warren-Newport Public Library. You might have caught a number of news stories about the Library Board in the recent past. The meetings have been a real circus.

This educated and dedicated group of service-oriented people has been bussed around by some loopy, laughable and intentionally argumentative person who has no concept on how to run a meeting, cooperate within a team, or focus on the matters at-hand.  Much like a particular member on the Warren Township High School Board, this library trustee is causing a great deal of turmoil for the other hard-working public servants who are prepared for meetings, follow proper rules of order, and work collaboratively with fellow library board members for the common good .

Unfortunately, this isn’t an exciting election year. There aren’t big contests to be considered and this means a lower voter turnout. No important questions, directly corresponds with  the number of people venturing out at their polling place. If people don’t vote, situations arise where write-in candidates can be elected with 31 votes. Yes, it happened on Warren’s School Board two years ago.

The vice-president on the library board is a perfect example. This man has scores of detractors, but the public knows little about his antics. He’s considered  toxic by his peers, impervious to criticism, and appears invulnerable, by running again for a six year term. Last week at the monthly board meeting, the consultant hired to help the board get-along, had blocked this gentleman’s Twitter posts. He was also chastised for politicking on library property, disrespected fellow board members, and called out on having library personnel make an extraordinarily large amount of business cards that he’s handing out to voters.

I can’t tell you who to vote for on April 7^th, but I can offer some tips. Get educated and find out about the candidates before you enter the booth. Don’t pick someone because the name sounds familiar, or they’re an incumbent. Find out if the candidate’s views align with your beliefs. Go to board meetings regularly, before the election. If you can’t attend a meeting, ask someone you trust for their opinion, or view the minutes on record. Check-out Facebook,  look at who endorses them, and read the news.  Say no to the Bozos, do the research, and vote smart.

 

Lake County CASA

Living in Lake County- CASA

Odie Pahl

A number of years ago I was volunteering for the Zacharias Center in Gurnee, which assists victims of sexual abuse. After being thoroughly trained, I signed-up for the help line, was on call for emergency visits to local hospitals for victims’ treatment, and learned how to advocate in court when perpetrators were brought for trial. It was very interesting, a bit depressing, and thoroughly fulfilling to help these people during their darkest hours.

However, I have a special penchant for children. I wanted to be of service for the ones who are really hurting.  I heard about CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) and called to see what it was all about. After an interview, almost 40 hours of training, and being assigned to a case manager, I was ready to receive my first assignment. The children are victims of neglect, abandonment and abuse. My cases were no different. Each child starts the process through the court system and CASA volunteers do, as well. Until an illness two years ago circumvented my service, I was fortunate to work on several cases.

About the time, I was sworn in (2010) there were 70,900 advocates nationally and they had helped over 240,000 children through the court system. That same year, there were more than 700,000 children who were victims of abuse and neglect. CASAs become the voice of the child in the courtroom, research the background of their assigned cases, and advocate for the best interests of the child.

Although the training covers a lot of information, provides expert speakers, and prepares advocates through role play and the study of past cases (privacy insured), until assigned a child or children it all seems a bit unreal for a new CASA.  Early-on the responsibility you take on becomes quite clear. These children are thrown into a system they do not understand, sometimes taken from their parents indefinitely, and placed with strangers temporarily while the courts determine their future. As an advocate, you may be the only person looking out for their well-being.

Back in 1976, Superior Court Judge David Soukup in Seattle, WA was concerned with the lack of information about how the children were fairing in his criminal cases. No one was speaking for the child’s welfare. By January 1977, he had a pilot program implemented. The first year there were 110 volunteers, serving 498 children in 376 cases in Seattle, alone. During the next few decades, the replication of the initial program moved across the country. There are now over 1,015 CASA programs within the United States.

CASA Lake County is located in Vernon Hills not too far from the Robert W. Depke Juvenile Justice Complex on Milwaukee Avenue. It is considered a nonprofit membership organization. There are multiple fundraisers throughout the year to fund the program. If interested in their training program go to http://casalakecounty.com for dates and to investigate the application process.  The commitment is major, but worth the effort in the life of each child. CASA volunteers run the gamut of differing professions, ethnic backgrounds, and possible time constraints. If becoming an advocate is too time intensive, there are other volunteer possibilities. Call (847) 377-7975 for information.

Should She Stay or Should She Go- Liz Biondi Should Resign

Update- Liz Biondi did show up at the January board meeting for Warren Township High School with little or no remorse. Once again the public blasted her for comments on the hiring of a new superintendent and was asked again to resign. When it was time for her to speak, she did not apologize or explain her actions. She rambled on about other issues and was cut-off after her three minute limit was reached. Clueless, she is an embarrassment to our community and District 121.

Living in Lake County- Controversial School Board Member

Odie Pahl

Last Tuesday night I attended a school board meeting in Gurnee. I admit I no longer attend meetings at Warren Township High School District 121 on a regular basis. My children are adults and I have so many things going on in my busy life. Unfortunately, I am here to tell you, when you put off civic responsibilities and assume others will take care of business for you, you are asking for trouble. I’m talking about Liz Biondi.

Liz Biondi was elected to Warren’s board by 31 write-in votes in April, 2013. Hardly, a rousing endorsement from the community, but she did capture the majority of votes and won her spot fair and square. The problem with having such a poor voter turnout is; the community has not actually done its job. We took for granted our right to decide and we are paying the price. Liz Biondi, school board member, is the end result.

Earlier in December, Warren’s board met to discuss the search for a new superintendent, since the current one was retiring at the end of the 2014-2015 school year.  This is sad news for D121 because they have had a great one. This is not only my opinion, but general consensus. At that meeting, apparently Biondi chose to express her opinion on having a gay or lesbian superintendent when additional input was requested from the members.

Biondi expressed concerned with the personal fires that someone with that background would be putting out rather than dealing with superintendent fires. I was not there to hear those comments, but let me assure you her opinion spread like the wildfire. She was denounced quite publically in the media, across the Internet, and in private conversations. A petition was started drawing close to 3000 signatures condemning her comments and requesting her resignation.

On December 16^th, without Biondi in attendance, the community did what we should have done in the first place and told the school board what we thought. Private Citizens, concerned past and present parents of Warren students, local politicians, teachers, village trustees, and the students themselves spoke quite eloquently on Biondi’s lack of moral judgment and asking for her resignation. Not one person came to her defense. Biondi was told quite frankly through this public forum that she was alone in her personal views.

At this time, Biondi has refused to resign. The resolution presented by the school board passed by a 5-0 vote. It left no doubt that Biondi’s opinions were her own. She certainly does not represent the people of Warren Township who stood up to her at that board meeting.

The fact of the matter is Biondi is not well-liked in her position. She’s known to be antagonistic and contrary at most meetings. However, until she stepped over-the-line with her comments, both legally and morally, she had every right to do so as a rightfully elected member of District 121. Hopefully, the powers-that-be will fix this mistake for us. Next election, I will pay attention.

A New Mystery Writer Unveiled

Living in Lake County- A New Author

Odie Pahl

 

Set back by the cruel exploits of her abusive husband and haunted by an evil presence she can’t quite grasp, Police Chief Josie Oliver finds herself drawn into the cross hairs of a vicious serial killer. Fighting for her marriage, faith, and fate, Chief Josie is confronted by an Adversary that only God can conquer—if she decides to let Him in. (excerpt Alabaster Vases)

Dr. Catherine Finger is well-known in Lake County as an educator, administrator, board member, and Lake County’s Superintendent of the Year. She has lead Grayslake High School District 127 for the last nine years (she’s in her tenth year) making her one of the longest tenured administrators in the county. Now, she adds one more hat to her collection, novelist. Her blog states:

“Like her heroine, Police Chief Jo Oliver, Dr. Catherine Finger is committed to protect and serve, but instead of handcuffs and handguns, she uses her wit and wisdom as a high school superintendent and a community volunteer in Grayslake, Illinois. When she’s not working or writing she can be found enjoying God’s presence and the people of New Hope Church in Round Lake, Illinois. She is passionate about sharing God’s truth through her fiction. Alabaster Vases is her debut novel and the first in the Murder with a Message series.” (catherinefinger.com)

Being a writer myself, I know what a big undertaking writing can be for a busy person with many responsibilities. I work on my future projects every minute I can get away from my day-to-day schedule. However, I also understand the great joy to follow your passion in a very tangible way to publication. On January 1, 2015, Finger will celebrate her debut story with a book launch at Dalton’s Cakes, 970 Harris Road, from 1-4pm in Grayslake. Munching on tasty treats, while mingling in a literary atmosphere,  is not a bad way to welcome 2015.

The book release introduces the first of a series of mysteries from Finger through Deep River Books. Blending a faith-based message, yet having real-life events sprinkled with mystery and intrigue has to be fun to write. I read the excerpt from her website and very quickly I wanted to read more. The book unfolds in this locality, so Lake County residents will recognize the area. Originally, from Wisconsin, Catherine Finger, draws from her experiences, while letting her imagination weave some interesting scenarios in a world of murder and mayhem. The spiritual message is incorporated not to preach, but to enlighten and to help the heroine and possibly the reader find answers.

If you can’t make the New Year’s Day release event, Alabaster Vases is available on Amazon.com as a pre-order for only $13.17. This time of year, Amazon has some great discounts and fast shipping. Who knows it may be shipped from the new facility in Kenosha. Have you seen that building on 94? It’s huge! What a nice boon to the Wisconsin-Illinois workforce. Happy Reading!