Most people who know me have known me for a long,
long time. My relationships are strong and deep regardless of the
circumstances. I hold on to them long after I have moved, changed jobs, or lost
the daily contact that forged those connections in the first place. I love
unconditionally, am loyal forever, and cherish meaningful tradition like the
lifeline it truly is in today’s fast-paced culture.
Coming from a broken home at a time when more than
90% of families were intact, wasn’t easy. My mother struggled in an unforgiving
community-base that did not accept people who did not fit into the norm. My
younger sister and I found ourselves scrutinized, pitied for our circumstances,
and longing for a past life torn away from us. When you’re a kid family
traditions are formed quickly. They do
not have the perspective of decades to rely on. I see that every day with my
grandchildren. Change a routine as simple as the route you take to the movies and
they wonder what is up. As adults, we, too count on what we know and find
comfort in those things, especially during the holidays.
So, when life throws you a sucker punch and takes
away the routine or messes with our traditions, we get scared. At least I do. I
don’t like change for the sake of change. I cling to meaningful and mindless
exercises alike. My journey has been to discern the difference and embrace only
the meaningful while casting away superfluous fluff. Getting older, I have
found the loss of older family members, physical limitations changing what I
can accomplish, and dealing with a younger generation of family who look to me
to continue some traditions, but expect me to encompass their burgeoning
outlook colored by their history and new adult reality.
Thanksgiving this year was at my older daughter’s
new home and extended family she has carved for herself. Instead of hosting for
18, I was a guest at the table. Weirdly liberating, I must admit. However, the
lack of control was off-putting for this traditional girl. My younger daughter
and her partner had dinner at her family’s table for a change. The rest of the
family and dear friends gave the new hostess some space this year. It’s On, for
2016 though.
Fortunately, we started a new tradition on Black
Friday. Instead of shopping like maniacs, my immediate family came together for
brunch at my house. Cooked expertly by my youngest, served with mimosas, Bloody
Mary’s, eggs, bacon (despite vegetarian philosophy), and rainbow pancakes for
my granddaughters. We watched the movie, Elf (a great new addition to my
holiday collection), and decorated the tree. The tree decorating was a hard one
to let go. I had to accept the early tree-trimming when I still had
Thanksgiving decorations up, ornaments on top of each other on the lower third
of the tree by eager little hands, and enjoying the new normal without comment.
Not easy for me.
This year take time to readjust. Hold onto the
meaningful traditions that feed your soul. Don’t do anything by rote, only by
design. If it makes you anxious, forget about it. Doesn’t fit into our busy
schedules, drop it. Cost too much- make it, bake it, or trade it in for
something that brings greater joy in the giving. Most importantly, embrace this
holiday for what it really is. A shining moment built on faith for a better
world fueled by the best of our intentions. Peace and Love to All.
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