Saying Good-bye to a Good Guy

In Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Mark Antony speaks at Caesar’s funeral using this famous quote, “…The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.” It may have been true in Shakespeare’s day, but I am thrilled to report not in Gurnee, IL. If you not one of the multitude who shared the loss of Richard Welton, I want you to know he left us with a resounding tribute ringing in his ears.

Mayor Welton (the only way I addressed him) was one of the Good Guys. Not a perfect man, but who is, really? Yet, the people who knew him and I am lucky to be counted in that large group of people, thought he was the best. The word that comes closest is a visionary and it has been used a lot since his death on July 31^st. I left his funeral just an hour ago and there was not a dry eye in Gurnee Community Church. Yes, this was a completely bias, standing room only crowd of mourners. These were his people. Friends he grew-up with, family members, community leaders, Village employees, intergovernmental agencies, church congregation, and of course, residents who knew him well.

You see everyone he met, he treated as a friend. He had a kind word for everybody, Except for, maybe the naysayers who did not love Gurnee like he did. Welton never hesitated to speak his mind or convince you to see it his way. No one loved Gurnee more than he did during his life. He became the Mayor in 1973 at just 30 years old. He held the job for 28 years. His vision allowed for Great America, Gurnee Mills, residential expansion, the retail corridor of Grand Avenue, and the extension of the Village to Route 45, to name a number of his accomplishments. The most important thing is he did it without abandoning the true essence of his home town.

As he was laid to rest, he was honored by his community in the most meaningful way possible. Memories were shared publicly and privately, tears were shared with family and friends, and everyone came together in droves to show their respect and love. I did say, love. To know him was to love him. He had a heart of gold, loved his family without reason, served his community with distinction, and was a kind and caring man, always.

So, some people may have to leave this Earth without anyone remembering what good works they accomplished in their life. However, that is not the case for Dick Welton. His death at 72 years of age almost seems premature. We will miss you greatly, Mayor.

A Doula may be the ticket...

Are you thinking, who or what is a doula? I have to admit that I was not familiar with the term when I first heard it. More than a midwife, who assists a woman in childbirth a doula, is the whole package. Both are trained and can be certified, but the doula is the support for the mother before the birth, through the birth, and after the birth for the whole family. While a midwife or doctor is primarily focused on the physical procedure, the doula is part of the entire process.

 Having a doula on board is an amazing thing. When the gynecologist/obstetrician monitors, tests, and supervises a woman’s pregnancy, they are seeing their patient only once a month until the last month when visits are weekly. Measuring the fetus, checking the weight gain (babies and mother), and performing a couple of ultrasounds, the doctors must attend to a multitude of patients. The doula is actively involved through every step of the pregnancy. This is especially helpful when it’s your first child. How many of you remember having “no clue” during those nine months? Where was Google when I was having kids?

So, when a friend announced the birth of her son with the help of a doula, I had to investigate. Lauren Sczygielski-Anders and I worked as ushers at the Genesee Theatre when it first opened. Always being on-top of all that she does, I was not surprised that she had engaged a doula for her first-ever birthing experience. Her choice was Martha Sheahan CD (DONA International), who trained and became certified as a doula in 2009. Her business is named, Becoming a Mother Birthing Service (www.becomingmothers.org). She developed an interest in natural childbirth after her first two children were born premature and wanted a better experience with her third and fourth.

Formerly, Doulas of North America, DONA International is the largest doula association in the world. There are more than 7000 certified doulas and the numbers continue to increase. Once certified, Martha was able to use her skills to provide holistic, non-medical birth support for people like Lauren, which is really the significant difference between a doula and a midwife. Midwives like an obstetrician are considered clinical care providers. Although essential to the success of the birthing experience, they are focused on the physical act of giving birth. A doula works alongside of the medical team, possibly a midwife, and mother before, during, and after the delivery.

Martha explained, “As a doula I’ve worked in homes, hospitals, and birthing centers. I provide care to all women, regardless of the route they choose, while in labor. Natural, medical, or C-section the benefits of a doula remain the same. The excitement of supporting a family through birth never grows old. Each experience is unique and each birth writes its own story. I believe a 100% in the empowerment this sacred experience brings to a woman. I am honored to be part of the journey.”

In Lauren’s case, her baby, Tom, was delivered by caesarean section at 39 weeks. He was a double footling breech. Yep, both feet were coming out first. Not a good scenario for mother or child. Despite, a major change in plans, she still felt her birth experience was almost perfect with some valuable assistance from her doula. Lauren faced surgery with a calm, relaxed confidence instead of fear and helplessness. She shared with me, “Having Martha with us gave Dan (her husband) and me a peace and calm you wouldn’t believe. Dan, who was a skeptic at first, loved having her there as she was informative, professional, calm, and funny (most important). I am the first woman in our family to have a doula and hope I won’t be the last…they’re great!”

After my research, hearing Lauren’s story, and learning about Martha’s passion for her profession I am convinced this is an amazing practice and more meaningful than a traditional birth. Raising four children with her firefighter husband, Matt, she is a blocker for the Root River Rollers (a women’s roller derby team out of Racine, WI), and dabbles in photography and gardening.  Nonetheless, she use her innate skills, (honed through hours of training) supports new parents, and continues to bring new life into the world on a regular basis. Sounds like a dream job to me, right?  Until next time…