The View and Marriage in Today’s World

I was watching The View this morning and through the chaos of the panel’s differing opinions on marriage I did relate to some of the topics presented. I really love The View, but even I’ll have to step away from the screen when they are thrashing out one of the “Hot Topics”. Talking over each other, interrupting whoever’s train-of-thought, and/or lambasting someone for daring to take another stance, is all great fun. However, some of the facts tend to get lost in the obvious posturing.

Anyway, they were talking about renewing a marriage license like we do our driver’s license, like every four years. Taking a look at the whole process and figuring out if we want to continue on and re-up until the next term or call it a day. What do you think? At the beginning of marriage, we are not as entwined in family, property, or life experiences, so a difficult divorce can be avoided under the “apprenticeship” program.

They say in a long standing marriage, couples may have multiple versions of their marriage. As our bodies are ever-changing, so is who we are. Making a successful partnership is a work in progress and maybe if regulated in the first four years, you can cancel the contract if you are not growing in the same direction. Once children are involved, of course, the marriage certificate kicks in. It would be no different for same-sex marriages.

They also discussed some kind of certification for raising children, the future of Beyoncé’s marriage, a new movie with John Lithgow on Alfred Molina about a same-sex couple as they grow older (interesting), and if a man is hit by a woman should she be treated as the victim when he turns on her. Does she have an applied expectation that she is immune to retaliation if she started the altercation? I tell you it was an interesting show.  Let me just say, no one has the right to physically harm another unless it is in self-defense. Man or woman- you pay the price for violating their right to safety.

After 39 years of marriage, I’ve lived through a number of different versions in our relationship. Some great, others pretty good, and let’s not repeat that again. Either way, if it was as easy as a simple renewal, some marriages wouldn’t last the first expiration date. Mine included. People are more willing to give up when there’s not much to lose. When abuse or dysfunction is perpetrated on either party, all bets are off, no question.

It takes time to really know someone, to accept someone after the initial passion has cooled, and understand we are not perfect as individuals. So the odds are we will not be in a marriage, which is perfect. We really need to work at things, regardless of how complicated they are. The harder the task the more we appreciate it when we succeed.

What’s your view?  Until next time…